How To Find Happiness Within Yourself – It’s a Choice!

The world population is estimated to be over 7 billion people, and although we all have unique gifts, skills, and interests…we also have some things in common. Let me give you a perfect example, regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, age, and religion…we are all in pursuit of one common thing…and that is happiness! We all want to be happy!Happiness

Depending on where we are in life, happiness will mean different things to us. When we are a child, we are in pursuit of childish things like toys, then we become teenagers and we shift our focus from toys to “who” we associate with. Who will like us? Being accepted and “fitting in” becomes very important to us and we believe that will make us happy. Then as we transition into adulthood we chase different things to find happiness…we aim to find happiness in our careers, titles, the companies we work for, obtaining more money, material things like expensive cars, big homes, and luxurious vacations.

What we learn is that none of these things that the “world” tells us will giveHappiness from God us happiness, will lead to genuine and everlasting happiness. Over the years I’ve learned that true happiness comes from God and it starts from within…not externally.

Do you want to know how to find happiness within yourself? It really begins with a choice, you have to “choose” to be happy. Just like you choose every day to get out of bed, get dressed and go out into the world, you must choose to be happy even if you don’t “feel” like it. You must make a conscious decision that you will pursue internal happiness and not allow anything to interfere with that.

There are 4 key points to keep in mind in your pursuit of happiness and becoming the person God created you to be. Once you are aware of these it will require that you make an effort to take action in putting them into practice. This is critical, it’s not enough to just have the knowledge, if you really want to find happiness in your life, you have to be intentional about your efforts to make it happen. The 4 key points are as follows:

  • Identify Bondage in your life that is resisting happiness and commit to eliminating it
  • Replace bondage with Virtues and practice them daily
  • Make time to contemplate your life and find things to be Grateful for
  • Be intentional about making progress in your Relationships

Break The Bondage or It Will Break You

BondageAnything that prevents us from being free to love authentically and being our best in thought and behavior is bondage. Bondage is enslavement that keeps us from reaching our goals and becoming the best-version of ourselves. Bondage comes in different shapes and shades, and if we are not careful, it will catch us by surprise and suffocate our aspirations for happiness. It can be negative thoughts about ourselves or others, anxiety and worrying obsessively, the things we keep putting off that we know are good for us, lacking self-control and discipline in our lives, and neglecting to nourish and building great relationships.

The key is awareness, once we identify and acknowledge the bondage that limits us, we must make a commitment to ourselves to make a U turn and take steps to remove them from our lives. Unless you seriously commit to this and not dabble, you will NOT see any significant changes and will stay stuck in the mud pit of unhappiness.

When you find the strength and determination to break the internal chains that are holding you down and keeping you from happiness, you will feel like a free eagle…expanding your wings and soaring to great new heights!!

Strive to Live a Virtuous Life

There is no doubt in my mind that living a virtuous life leads to internal happiness. I believe that we all have the capacity to do good in this world…to do what is honorable and upright. Just think about a time when you “chose” to do what is right and just, an act of love…most likely you felt great inside, and it’s because you were created to be virtuous…it’s an affirmation of WHO you are. Sadly we forget this and then wonder why is it that we feel empty inside and not happy.

In pursuit of living a virtuous life we must practice discipline and self-control. Living a disciplined life will help you to do the things that are “good” for you that will lead to happiness. Self-control will help you to avoid the things that are “not good” for you that will lead to self-sabotage and unhappiness.

One way to apply discipline is in your prayer life and reading scripture and Christian books. If you commit to a scheduled time for prayer, readingReading Scripture and reflection, you will not only be inspired to live a virtuous life, but also gain wisdom on how to achieve happiness in your life. I know that self-control is not a popular word these days, but it’s very powerful and it doesn’t get the credit it deserves. I personally believe that a lot of the problems we have in society today is due to a lack of self-control. Practicing self-control trains us to say “no” to short-term gratification that ultimately leaves us feeling “empty” and unhappy.

If you can get yourself to a point where you think virtuous thoughts, and act virtuously, then, you will experience God’s inner peace and happiness that is overflowing and surpasses all understanding.

Gratitude Leads to Happiness

It’s easy to go down the “self-pity” road (especially on Monday’s) and start the day by counting our blames and not our blessings. I’ve done it many times and it just drains me to the point that my entire day just drags…it’s an energy drainer. How we start our day will put us in the right mindset and will dictate how our day turns out. I invite you to give it a try and see what happens!

Start the day by waking up a few minutes earlier than you normally do, and find a quiet place where you can reflect and think about people, experiences, or things you are grateful for and you will find that your heart will expand in gratitude. We all have crosses to carry and challenges to face, but I’m sure we can find something, even if it’s one thing that we can be grateful for. When we make time in the day to think about what we can be grateful for, it gives us a “global” perspective and reminds us of how blessed we are, as well as what really matters in life.

Don’t Underestimate The Power of Relationships

All human beings yearn deep meaningful relationships, it’s so fundamental to our well-being and happiness, but sadly many people are ineffective when it comes to building strong healthy relationships on a personal and professional level. Weak relationships are just dry and disconnected that make us feel empty and lonely. On the flip side, can you think of people you know that have strong great loving relationships? Have you noticed that they seem to be happy and peaceful?

Happy RelationshipsWhether you believe it or not, we were created to be in good relationships to love and be loved, it’s the core of who we are as human beings and when we are not in alignment with that design we will be unhappy. Be intentional about building and nourishing good healthy relationships with the people in your life, don’t settle for average lukewarm. Make time to have quality conversations that demonstrate you really care and want to connect on a personal level. When you take an interest in people and work to make progress in your relationships, you will experience an increase in happiness threefold!

Authentic Happiness is Possible!

True authentic happiness is sustainable and possible for you! It can be achieved if you really desire it. If you are seeking true happiness, make a decision to take action and work on the 4 key points; bondage, virtues, gratitude, and relationships. Remember, the level of happiness in your life is a choice, if you want it, be relentless in pursuing it!

12 thoughts on “How To Find Happiness Within Yourself – It’s a Choice!”

  1. It is very helpful for personnel development in the current society. Refresh your mind and focus on your goals.

    your explaining that, The power of relationships your mentioned was excellent. And these post is very useful people who are in low situations

    It is very helpful for personnel development in the current society. Refresh your mind and focus on your goals.

    your explaining that, The power of relationships your mentioned was excellent. And these post is very useful people who are in low situations

    • Hi Kiransamuels – Thanks for stopping by and taking a read. I am glad you found it helpful. Relationships are a key ingredient to happiness, we all have relationships, personal and professional, so in my mind it’s important that we learn how to have the best relationships that will ultimately lead to happiness!! All the best!

  2. This post full of information is amazing and I wish that I had found it a couple of years ago!

    Up until the age of 37, I was a very happy man with a great job and only the worries of being a husband and dad but it was suddenly stopped short. 

    I was on my way to work and my car broke down but instead of my boss saying to come in later, he sacked me. later that week my Nan died, so as well as losing my job, I lost my car and a member of my family who I loved dearly.

    My life hasn’t been the same since!

    I went into a huge depression without knowing what was happening until the doctor told me I was clinically depressed and I could not snap out of it whatever I tried to do

    I tried just believing that it would all blow over but I just couldn’t find it in my heart to feel happy

    Finding happiness within yourself is a really hard thing to do when you hate yourself so much, and it did take a while but I can honestly say that if you have enough of a belief that you will get through it all, then you will eventually!

    I really enjoyed reading your post and I had to leave a message to all the people out there that are suffering in a bad time of their lives to let them know that things WILL get better 🙂

    • Hi Matthew – Happy to hear you enjoyed reading the post. I can certainly relate to being in the mud pit…I too went through a very deep depression in my life, it was tough going through it but with God’s grace I had a breakthrough! It’s a matter of focusing on the positive and finding things to be grateful for that will give us the energy and hope to find happiness. Your feelings will follow your focus!! Thanks for stopping by and taking a read. 

  3. This article reminded me of a time when I was stuck in depression and finding happiness was almost impossible. It took me a long while to get out from that stage but I did it eventually. I think the bondage thing was the main factor that pulled me down. Conforming to social norms and trying to fit into the stereotypical expectation was tiring. Breaking away from the bondage was a great relief and I am glad I had the courage to say no to certain things and move on with life. 

    • Hi Cathy – It breaks my heart when I see people “stuck”…especially our young people these days. As you noted, we put on a tremendous amount of pressure on ourselves by trying to fit into the “box” that society dictates only to find out that it doesn’t serve us. I am happy to hear that you found the courage to break out of your bondage and are focusing on moving forward…not backwards. Thanks for sharing! All the best.

  4. Lots of care and thought has gone into your post. It’s so great to have people who are genuinely helping folks out. Thank you for your insight.

    • Hi Marty – Thanks for stopping by for a read. Glad you found the post insightful. I know it’s a topic many people struggle with so if I can help in any way I am happy to serve! Best wishes!

  5. Love the 4 elements of happiness you prescribe in your powerful and uplifting post. Breaking free from your bindings or as you term them bondage, live a virtue filled lifestyle, be grateful for what you have and each thing is given to you as not everyone has your unique opportunities, and focus on building health and supportive relationships. God is by far the number 1 answer to well being of the mind, body, and soul. Ridding yourself of toxic people who make life a challenge is not easy to do but God will help you see these people for who they are and help you move on. Thanks for a great post.

    • Hi Andy – Glad you enjoyed reading the post. As a Christian I made a choice to put God at the center of my life (it was not always the case…took me many years to get to that point) it was not a matter of pushing a button…it’s a process. I agree with you that God is the source of harmony and our faith and trust in Him will help us to eliminate toxic that is stealing our joy and peace. Thanks for stopping by. Best wishes!

  6. Many people ask themselves how to find happiness and you are absolutely right that it can only truly be found within ourselves and it is a choice we can make. This is a key point that too many people never realize or act on. Instead, they look outside the self and think that what others tell them will make them happy will do so.

    Money, material things, or who they may be with thinking that these are the keys just will not do it. Most people that strive for these kinds of things cannot ever be at peace nor happy. There is an inkling or an itch or a small voice and feeling that this stuff is just that – stuff.

    The points that you have hit on are essentials to discovering true happiness. Knowing what is holding you back, deciding what your moral compass is and living within these boundaries, being thankful for what you have (when so many have so little), and understanding the power of true relationships can provide a strong base to build your own version of happiness.

    I went through such a deep dive years ago into who I am and what I want to do and be, and this included letting go of old hates, hurts, and relationships. This freed me to then move on to look around me and see things from a new perspective, a more positive perspective, and frankly one without any concern for what others might tell me.

    That has made it much easier to allow happiness to be an integral part of my life, and I and others are the better for it I believe. Happiness can be achieved, it does take some work prior to getting to that point, but the ‘work’ is worth it! A very thought-provoking post and useful for all. Thanks!

    • Hi Dave – Thanks for sharing your perspective, appreciate that. It really begins with the mind, as you mentioned that you took a deep dive in self-awareness and figuring out “who” you are and “what” you want to do and be. It does take time and effort to contemplate but it’s so crucial to start there. I agree with you that self-awareness leads to gaining a new perspective and that empowers you to take action to change your outcome!! Happy to hear that you had a breakthrough that led to a sense of freedom!! That’s awesome!


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